Just another manic Monday

Well since I couldn't sleep, I got up before 5am and went into work about 5:50. Good to get an early start as I had a 9:30 Dr. appt. Was quite busy but got everybody lined out before 9 and split. Between Dr. and drug store was done by 11, went to Safeway and picked up a few things then went home. Checked on the river and phoned in to work. Took care of a few things asked Teresa to take care of a couple of reservoir changes, lined bill out, called mom then checked e-mail. Rob got dates firmed up with Carol re: Fire Island, now I can make my flight reservations and firm things up. I am soooo looking forward to the beach.

Am planning on Chewelah this weekend, hope it works out but things are in transition on the river and may need to work. Called the bank to discuss my IRA. I want to transfer my IRA with B of A . to my TSP but might have waited too long. I have to call the TSP people and figure things out.

Maggie called and is planning on the front end at Fire Island. Wish she could stay for the whole time.

Still haven't written back to Irwin regarding his last e-mail. Gots to do that soon. Have allot of cards to send out this week. Old ones and new. Birthdays and graduations etc.

Trying to keep a positive perspective but it is getting hard. I really need a life change but I just can't seem to pin down what I want to do. I got my Ten Year Certificate 2 weeks ago and I am amazed. I know why I feel this way. I never spent 10 years in one occupation my whole life. Time for something new even if I am over 50!. It's all just too easy and predictable, no challenge any more. I am so not stimulated.

If I only had someone to love maybe I wouldn't feel so anxious. I can't seem to settle down. I wish I could find a gal I could be comfortable with . A friend and a lover. But you have to look to find and I have given up looking. I keep thinking love is going to fall at my feet like when I was young. How foolish. But I would rather be alone than in a loveless relationship. I've seen tooo many of those go down in flames!I don't hear from Barbara unless I call and I am afraid to call After all these years I am still in love with her in a way I can't explain. I guess I always will be. It just doesn't hurt like it used to. I'm going to call her this week just to say hello. I know she doesn't care whether I do or not but I am feeling nostalgic and want to hear her voice.

Well the 30 days are up so I guess I am going to keep the laptop! Already made one payment and have to make the next this week so what the hell.

Just spoke to maggie. We spoke for a little about Mom and my plans to try and come back to care for her. She is still waiting on the state to send the info.

I am finding that keeping up the blog makes me feel better. Just to read my thoughts on the screen is quite therapeutic. I haven't missed more than a day since I started. I don't think anyone has read it but that is not the reason I am doing it anyway. Well I'm getting a little wordy tonight so I guess that's it for now. Maybe more later.

peace.